Goal Keeper Tim Howard was featured on the CBS Series Note to Self where he wrote about his personal journey and the things he learned along the way. Tim mentioned the different roles self-belief and self-confidence played in his life. Many people use self-esteem and self-confidence interchangeably but they are quite different. Self-confidence can depend on performance, whereas self-belief comes from a nurturing place inside you which encourages and keeps you striving for greatness.
Self-esteem refers to how you feel about yourself overall and how much positive self-love you have. Your esteem develops from experiences and situations which have shaped how you view yourself in the world. Self-confidence is how you feel about your abilities and can vary from situation to situation. I may have healthy self-esteem, but low confidence about situations involving my math skills (this is true).
When you hold yourself in high regard, your belief in yourself improves, which makes you more confident. When you are confident in areas of your life, you begin to increase your overall sense of worth. There were many lessons I learned in my twenties which have shaped me today and strengthened my self-belief. These lessons, although painful at times, proved critical for developing coping skills later in life.
Your self-esteem can wane when you start to compare yourself with others. You feel great until you sit next to a super model then a critical spirit takes hold and you spiral into self-doubt. Embracing your authentic self means you trust yourself. The difference between our belief and confidence hinges on how much faith we have in ourselves and our abilities.
It makes sense that if we have a realistic internal rating of ourselves and see ourselves as equally competent, intelligent and attractive as others, we will feel confident in what we can do as well. However, there are times when we lack confidence and our ego takes hold to cover up a short coming. We have all heard the saying, “Fake it until you make it”. I have had to deploy this tactic before. In my experience, you should always circle back and shore up the short coming so it doesn’t come back to bite you later on.
Inside each one of us resides a little voice, a spark of belief, who knows what we are capable of and has faith in our abilities. We just need to ignite the spark and let it shine! I like what Tim said, “Never lose the underlying belief in yourself”. Anything is possible if we have faith and believe in ourselves!